Linux Loving Men Are Sexier
by Andrea W. Cordingly, for HUMOR MIXED WITH REALITY section.

No one had broached the subject. My inquiries with girlfriends and colleagues led me down a path into a revealing and sensual world as yet undiscovered. Or at least, as our senior editor put it, "one that few have had the chutzpah to print."

I discovered intimate bedroom secrets of why some women are explicitly attracted to those lovable fellows who prefer the penguin, and I'm not talking about some strange sex toy.

I'm talking about Linux.

"Passion," was a common response among the women I spoke with. Men who tend to use and enjoy Linux have a built in passion.

"All that passion is going to burst out," says one of my friends. She thinks her Linux loving husband has a natural excitement and that his enthusiasm for all things Linux often just flows out into other everyday activities.

She decided to combine his passions to see the result. You are warned not to try this experiment at home, unless you're an adult. One birthday she gave her "Linux man" a Linux Baby Doll T-shirt that she wore around the house with nothing else. It apparently combined two passions into an exploding inferno that I have to say makes me think about buying one as well.

But, not every facet is about the bedroom.

The Linux loving man also seems to trend towards "problem solver" extraordinaire. Several women told me how a problem pops up and in about fifteen minutes the Linux guy comes to the rescue, solves the issue and often improves the situation.

For example: June noticed that the dishwasher wouldn't turn on one day. But she had no time to figure it out between taking her daughter to lessons and trying to prepare for guests. Instead, she sent a text message to Richard's cell and asked him to look at it when he made it home. That evening he located the problem, installed a new ground fault circuit interrupter (GFCI) and ran the dishwasher before the guests arrived.

"I find that when it comes to solving a problem, Rich is almost superhuman. I credit a lot of it to his years of tinkering and solving things with Linux," says June caressing a photo of him at a LUG fest.

Some declare this as just another typical geek characteristic. However, I've met enough "geeks" to know there are a number of differences between guys who use computers and guys who rebuild the kernel and tune it for a home made embedded single board computer.

As a result I tried to summarize why a Linux man is a good catch with this list:

Makes plenty of money and isn't shy to use it.

It's true that a lot of that money goes into his computer hobby which he insists is urgent because he "needs another server to run the CentOS distro, because I'm using the Debian server to run our multimedia center." The benefit is that he also knows how to spend money by flying us to wonderful places like Sydney. Now I can enjoy the amazing summer down under! Okay, so maybe the LinuxExpo had a little something to do with it.

Stays up extreme hours of the night without any loss of energy.

In fact I'm not even sure he needs sleep. The obvious benefits include the ability to spend some quality time together. I am also free from the annoyance of life with someone who tells me "its really late." I'm a night owl so it works well for our relationship. Okay, so it may be a bit odd that he also decides to bring "Betsy", his Toshiba Satellite laptop running MEPIS to bed with us.

Solves every possible conundrum in the world.

Solving problems seems to be an inherent trait found in most Linux loving men. The obvious benefits are seen in examples like with June and Richard, among many. Based on my unscientific survey of other women, I find that most Linux loving men are deep thinkers... sometimes a bit too deep. For instance, trying to understand how the big bang theory can work since matter in motion can not spontaneously create new physical space to occupy is a really interesting and deep premise. However, trying to understand how the expansion of the universe works in the back seat of his car, during our date, was probably not the best timing.

Stands by his convictions without regard to criticism.

Passionate as they are, many Linux loving men are also firm in their convictions. They are men who stand by their beliefs and are willing to fight for them. Debating others on key issues often comes naturally. Men with depth of character are unique. Although, starting an argument with the senior vice president during the company Christmas party on the use of Linux desktops was probably not the best outlet.

Overall, the women I spoke with strongly prefer Linux loving men and as I know from personal experience, with plenty of good reasons. A Linux loving man is a great catch.

This brief HUMOR piece should not be construed as factual information, and only contains the jokes and personal experiences of the author at the time of publication. You take this article seriously at your own risk. Linux is a registered trademark of Linus Torvalds. IBM, PC-DOS, and OS/2 are the registered trademarks or trademarks of International Business Machines. Microsoft, Microsoft Service Agreement, Microsoft Windows are trademarks or registered trademarks of Microsoft Corporation both in the United States and Internationally. All other trademarks or registered trademarks in this opinion piece belong to their respective owners.